2024: A Year of Becoming

What’s the best conversation you’ve ever had?

What made it stand out?

A wildly fascinating topic?

Someone who was both interesting and interested in you?

Being pushed to see things differently?

Maybe you left the conversation feeling energized and ready to act?

Maybe it was all of those things at once.

This is the perfect time of year for this exact conversation. As we kick off 2024, millions of people are setting resolutions. Everyone’s got a method for goal-setting, planning, and setting resolutions. There are 12 step plans, frameworks, journals, and more.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

Hans Hofman

What if you scrapped all of the complicated systems and simply “let the necessary speak”?

As I’ve been doing Keep Asking over the last several years, I’ve found myself having more and more conversations like the one I mentioned above—with myself. These conversations have become a valuable way of generating answers but more importantly as a way for me to develop a deeper understanding and relationship with myself.

What if we have that amazing conversation I described above right now? You and me.

Who do you want to become?

Whoa, ok I can see it already, you’re possibly feeling overwhelmed. It’s a huge question with huge life altering results. You want to be thoughtful about it.

Why don’t we try this first?

Think of 3-5 people who you really admire. Maybe you know them, maybe they’ve passed away, or maybe they were never real to begin with. It doesn’t matter. Write the names down on a sheet of paper.

Next, write down what you admire most about each of them.

It doesn’t matter what you wrote down. Your list might even contain some things that seem contradictory at first.

Next, look at the list of reasons you wrote and pick the 3-5 you want the most. These are the ones that you hope someone would write down next to your name if they were making a similar list someday.

What do you notice about these attributes?

What are their similarities/differences?

How do they possibly connect with one another?

This list now contains the best attribute of the best people in your life. You chose these people and these attributes because they represent an idealized version of yourself. Remember, I didn’t ask you to list people you liked or loved, I specifically asked for people you “admire.” The line between admiration and envy is thin. And for the purposes of our conversation right now, that’s a good thing. It means these are attributes you likely want to see in yourself as well.

Ok, so now you’ve answered the question, “who do you want to become?” I love it—great work!

Now, we move to the next question…

What do those types of people do?

If you admire someone because they are generous, I need you to write down 3-5 statements that tangibly demonstrate what being generous looks like to you. These statements could look something like this:

• they donate a % of every paycheck to a non-profit

• they always have their door open at work and are open to unscheduled drop-ins

• they freely share credit with others in the success of a project

• they are above average “tippers”

This list is important because this is the “proof.” This is how you will know you’re becoming who you said you wanted to become.

Decide the type of person you want to be.

Prove it to yourself with small wins.

James Clear, Atomic Habits

There’s a reason Atomic Habits is still sitting on top of some of the bestseller lists years after being published. The system works.

But now I’m going to throw you one more question because right now you’re staring at a long list of things and you might be wondering how you’re going to do all of these things to become the person you want to become.

The answer is, you’re not.

What are the smallest first steps you can take?

Look at your list. Choose 1-2 really small things on their and start today. Right now.

That’s it.

I can see the pendulum shifting in your mind the other way and some of you are thinking that’s too easy. You need to make this challenging and you need to progress faster.

Prove it.

Prove how easy it is by going 100% for a few months. If it’s so easy, you’ll crush it and by March you’ll see yourself as the exact person you said you wanted to become. Then you can add more things on because you already know you’re “that” person.

And there it is—the amazing conversation we wanted. Thanks for taking a few minutes to connect. Thanks for being here for our weekly questions and for investing in the idea that questions are the first step toward making better decisions, deepening relationships, and becoming the person you are meant to become.

We’ve now officially kicked off our fourth year of this project! See you back here next week!

Keep Asking,

Kyle