Envy isn’t evil. It’s honest.

What your secret comparisons are trying to teach you (if you’re willing to listen)

Which is the worst of the seven deadly sins?

“From envy are born hatred, detraction, calumny, joy at a neighbor’s misfortune, and pain at their success.”
—Pope Gregory I

Envy is often called the gateway sin—the one that quietly opens the door to resentment, gossip, even hatred.

But what if it’s not the villain we think it is?
What if—hear me out—it’s actually useful?

I’m not saying you should feed envy unchecked, obsess over someone else’s highlight reel, or live in a fog of comparison. That’s a fast track to burnout and bitterness.

But if you can study your envy?
Name it?
Follow it?

Envy might just be your subconscious saying:

“That’s the life I want… I’ve just been too scared to say it out loud.”

James Clear is the source for this week’s question…

Who do you secretly envy—and what does that reveal about what you truly value?

That hit me.

Because envy, when examined, is insight. It’s not about the other person—it’s about you. What you’re drawn to. What you crave. What you’ve been ignoring.

The Envy of My Youth

Ask anyone who knew me in high school or college—I envied one guy more than anyone else.

Was it the fame? The music? The moves?

No. It was the confidence.

He carried himself and had this self assurance I wanted so badly.

And Now…

Ask my wife who I envy most today, and she’ll answer without hesitation:

Ryan Holiday.

I’ve read every book he’s written—14 and counting. I admire how he’s built a meaningful life, doing work he believes in, supporting his family through writing and sharing ideas. I want that too.

That envy isn’t toxic. It’s illuminating.

The Third Question That Changes Everything

James Clear gives us two great prompts:

1. Who do you envy?

2. What does that reveal about what you value?

But there’s a third question that unlocks the rest:

3. What are you willing to do about it?

Because envy, left alone, is just passive pain.
But envy acted on? That’s momentum. That’s growth.

If you’re not willing to pursue what someone else has, you forfeit your right to be envious of them. You can’t crave the outcome without being all-in on the process.

Envy is a mirror. But it can also be a map.

Try This:

Think of someone you envy right now. Write their name down.

Then answer these three questions:

• What exactly do I envy about them?

• What does that tell me about my values?

• What am I willing to do to pursue that myself?

The answers might surprise you.

See you next week!

Keep Asking,

Kyle

**Send this to someone you secretly envy (it’s one of the nicest compliments you can give)