Everyone Loves Vacation Dad… Until They Don’t

What a meltdown taught me about setting people up for success

I’m in vacation mode.

And vacation dad?

He goes to the store and comes back with Butterfingers, Funyuns, and Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

He’s also pretty relaxed on video games, bedtimes, and daily bathing.

Everyone loves vacation dad.

For about three days. 😂

Then it hits.

No one’s sleeping well.

There’s no routine.

And more sugar has been consumed in 72 hours than the entire previous calendar year.

Cue the meltdowns.

It doesn’t matter if the kid is 3 or 11—when the structure collapses, so does everything else.

This summer, we had one several of those moments.

At one point we had all four kids melt down in some type of perfectly timed emotional fireworks show.

Boom. Boom. BOOM. Screaming finale.

And in the middle of that chaos, my wife looked at me and said:

“We didn’t set them up for success.”

She’s said this before. And every time, it’s like a “duh” moment for me.

If they’re jacked up on sugar, running on little sleep, and in an unfamiliar place, it’s going to be hard to keep it together for long.

But we do this.

We throw them into unfamiliar situations—with no heads-up, no prep—and expect them to handle it like seasoned adults (who, honestly, barely handle it themselves).

Or we skip the conversation we should’ve had weeks ago… and then get confused when they struggle through some situation alone.

Her words stuck with me. And they keep resurfacing as one powerful question:

How can you set them up for success?

Our job as parents isn’t to make our kids succeed.

It’s to equip them to navigate new territory. To offer a map, not carry them the whole way.

Here’s the difference:

Say your kid has a big school project.

Your job isn’t to do the project for them.

It’s to help them figure out how to do a project—especially the first time.

We know that good work usually involves:

• Planning ahead

• Communicating with your group

• Asking questions early

• Editing your work before turning it in

We know all that.

They don’t. Yet.

Success starts with frameworks.

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Practice Before Performance

We had our kids in a theater performance camp this week.

New space. New people. New expectations.

So, on Sunday night, we had a short chat:

• What it might feel like to walk in and know no one.

• How to make others feel more at ease.

• What to do when you’re uncomfortable.

• What the teachers want to see.

That’s it.

No guarantees they’d “succeed.”

Just a framework they could lean on when things felt unfamiliar.

And sure enough, things went smooth.

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This Isn’t Just for Kids

There’s someone in your life right now—kid, friend, team member—who needs this from you.

They don’t need you to rescue them.

They need you to set them up for success.

Sometimes that looks like a conversation.

Sometimes it’s a written note.

Sometimes it’s just showing up and asking a question they haven’t thought to ask.

The point isn’t perfection.

It’s preparation.

Keep Asking,

Kyle