Should I Argue or Act?

The Michelangelo Method for Resolving Disputes....

Buckle up — you’ve just jumped into an argument with someone at work.

You’re right, they’re wrong — they just just don’t see it yet.

The question is, what’s the best way to win?

Well, you could sit around debating all of the finer points of the problem and try to explain your way to a victory. This works sometimes. But think about all of the arguments you’ve been in before. Even when you win, do you actually win? Often, we stain the relationship because the fact is, we aren’t good at arguing. We begin to mix in personal attacks with the professional facts, our emotions are elevated, and we sometimes even forget the real outcome we’re shooting for.

What’s the real goal here?

To be right? Or to get to the best result possible?

The Michelangelo Method

The famed sculptor, Michelangelo offers us a slightly different approach to professional disagreements.

In 1502, a giant beautiful block of marble gathered dust in one of Florence’s grand churches. The marble had been “ruined” by an artist who had bored a hole right through it. Eventually, some friends of Michelangelo connected him with Florence’s mayor, Piero Soderini who invited the sculptor to come see whether the marble was able to be salvaged.

Michelangelo took on the challenge and said he would depict a young David with a sling in hand. As he came to the end of the project, Soderini who fancied himself a bit of an expert, entered the studio and noted that the nose was out of proportion to the rest of the figure.

Pause for a moment here — essentially, one of the city’s most powerful and influential people with no professional art background, showed up and told one of history’s greatest sculptors he messed up.

Michelangelo could have dropped the chisel and launched into a tirade highlighting all of the reasons Soderini was wrong.

Michelangelo instead did two simple things.

Shift their perspective

The sculptor acknowledged Soderini’s observation and invited him to come stand on the scaffolding with him so that he could see the sculpture from a different angle.

Let them win

Once Soderini was in a new place, Michelangelo reached down and picked up his chisel AND a bit of marble dust off the floor. He then began to lightly tap the nose (making no changes) as he let bits of the marble dust fall to the floor.

After a few minutes of this, he stopped and turned to Soderini and invited additional feedback.

Soderini replied, “I like it better, you’ve made it come alive.”

Who won this argument?

Everyone.

Michelangelo was a professional and knew exactly what the sculpture needed or did not need.

Soderini felt empowered and like a great contributor to the final product.

Both men got exactly the result they wanted.

“The truth is generally seen, rarely heard.” Baltasar Gracian

Modern Day Application: Argue or Act?

In many of the arguments we engage in, there is an opportunity for everyone to win if we can understand what the other side really wants. But argument is rarely the way to victory. Determine the best course of action that allows your opponent to see things from a different perspective and allows them to contribute to the final result either meaningfully or otherwise.

So the next time you have a disagreement, pause and ask yourself should I argue or act?