Me: Stop freaking out!
My wife: You know thatβs developmentally appropriate, right? Heβs two.
Me: π€¦π»ββοΈ
This conversation happens more than I want to admit. I get frustrated when my two-year old doesnβt handle a situation the way I would. Then, my wife reminds me that itβs unrealistic to expect my kids to respond to frustration the same way I do.
I might be able to help my two-year old handle things well for a two-year old BUT I will never get my two-year old to act like a 40-year old. (Although, it turns out, you can have a 40-year old act like a two-year old. π)
Weβre visiting my family in Texas for a few weeks and one of the many highlights for our family is spending time in the garden. Itβs one of the first places we head after we drop our bags off.
One of the first things I notice each time I step into the backyard is that time slows down.
The garden moves at the speed nature intended.
No amount of optimization, hyperactivity, productivity, or hacking can change nature.
Have you ever planted a seed and watched it grow until it bears fruit?
Tomatoes π βββ 60 days
Pineapple π βββ 2 years
Blackberries π« βββ 3 years
Apple π βββ 8 years
These are averages, so maybe you can see fruit appear a little sooner. But, for the most part, nature has already determined how long it will take for the plant or tree to bear fruit.
You can mulch, fertilize, prune, water, and love your plants all you want BUT you are not going to plant an apple seed and harvest an apple 90 days later. This is a law of nature.
Are you frustrated that the apple seed you planted last week has no fruit on it this morning?
No. That would be crazy. You donβt even question it.
But how many times have you been frustrated with a child (or yourself) when mistakes are made or behaviors donβt match up with your ideal?
We think nature doesnβt apply in those situations. We should bear fruit instantly. Weβre different. We defy the laws of nature. If we can send someone to the moon, we can force maturity onto a child if we could only just teach them or persuade them more intentionally
But what if someone said, βhey guys, the average person bears fruit in 10, 20, 30, or 40 yearsβ¦β How would that change your perception?
Maybe we would have a little more patience for others and for ourselves if we could only zoom out and see that the laws of nature govern everythingβnot just the seeds we plant.
Today, when someoneβs behavior isnβt what you think it should be, imagine that person as a seed just following the growth trajectory nature intended.
Have a great week!
Keep Asking,
Kyle