What's your smallest next step?

Stop trying to be "happy" all the time and do this instead...

I had a conversation with a colleague/friend this week where they expressed this statement in a moment of sadness.

“I just want to be happy.”

Maybe you’ve heard this before from a friend.

Maybe you’ve felt this before yourself.

I said something that probably made this person question whether I was the right friend to be talking with in that moment.

I said, “what if we aren’t meant to be happy…”

My voice caught before I could finish so I had to say it again, “what if we aren’t meant to be happy all the time?”

“All the time.”

That’s the phrase to key in on.

The pursuit of happiness is a $1.5 trillion industry according to McKinsey.

While we’re pouring more money into this pursuit than ever before, the pursuit itself is nothing new. The ancient Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, all sought this in their own way. The US Declaration of Independence includes the pursuit of happiness as an unalienable human right. The country of Bhutan measures “Gross National Happiness.” In 2011, the UN encouraged members to take additional measures in the pursuit of happiness.

It’s hard to argue against investing more time, money, and resources into helping people be happy.

But I’m worried there’s an unintended effect of all of this effort spent on the pursuit of happiness.

Somewhere along the way, we created a belief that happiness is the singular ideal state and that feeling something else along the way should be explored, unpacked, and worked on as if it’s suboptimal.

What if instead of seeking permanent “happiness” as the desired end state, we reframed our quest and simply attempted to add a few more “pockets of happiness” into our daily life?

This is where the conversation above eventually landed.

What’s the smallest step you can take today to add a little pocket of happiness to your daily routine?

If I asked you to sit down and figure out how to “be happy” it would feel overwhelming and you might get lost in a search for big life changes that will likely be hard to implement. And even if you were able to implement them, they wouldn’t result in the everlasting happiness you’re searching for which will leave you feeling frustrated and less happy.

So what does this look like in practice?

Every Friday night I have something that brings me a little pocket of happiness.

Coca Cola.

None of this Coke Zero or Diet Coke stuff.

Full sugar, full caffeine, full everything.

This moment has become so great because I’ve stopped drinking soda during the week so this really feels like a treat when it rolls around each week.

Here’s a few other pockets…

I exercise each morning.

I walk my kids into school several days each week.

My daughter comes to do homework in my office a couple times a week.

I get to teach our church’s early morning seminary class 3x/week.

When I start looking for pockets of happiness in my life, I start realizing I have so many and I appreciate them more when I frame them like this in my mind. Now, instead of being frustrated I’m not happy all the time, I’m looking for these little pockets along the way.

So what’s the smallest thing you can do right now to add a little pocket of happiness to your day?

Write it down.

Do it.

And then talk to yourself about that pocket of happiness through the lens of gratitude.

It will change the way you approach happiness.

I know it because I’ve seen it in my own life.

Hope you enjoy a few more “pockets of happiness” this week!

Keep Asking,

Kyle