Where are you paying attention ❓
Your most valuable currency isn’t money—it’s your attention 👀
Pay attention.
You’ve probably heard this command countless times throughout your life.
But have you ever really thought about what it means?
Pay = to offer something of value in exchange for something else of value
Attention = one of the most valuable commodities you possess
How would your life be different if you really thought about “paying attention” the way you think about buying a book, purchasing a car, or investing in a home?
Every time you pay attention, an exchange takes place. Sometimes the cost is small—like buying a treat for a few dollars. Other times, the stakes are high, like making a life-changing investment in a home.
So what’s being exchanged?
Each time you pay attention, you pay in three ways:
Time
Energy
Unlived Lives
TIME
This one’s straightforward: paying attention means giving up the time you spend focused on something.
If you pay attention to a teacher during class, you’ve given them that time. Think about it—you could have chosen an almost infinite number of other things to focus on, but you chose the teacher.
This is something I wish we as educators took more seriously. I think we take it for granted. Attention is a gift—a payment that deserves to be rewarded.
ENERGY
Next, paying attention requires energy.
Focusing on one thing means you have to prevent your mind from wandering down random paths, which takes effort. For some people, that’s easy. For others (like me), it’s more demanding.
UNLIVED LIVES
This is where things get wild.
Each time you “pay attention,” you trade all the other lives you could have been living for the one you’ve just chosen.
I know… this sounds a little woo woo.
It’s not and here’s why…
On a typical workday, I have hundreds of interactions:
I say hi to someone in the hall.
I have a meeting with four people.
Seven people text me with different requests.
I respond to dozens of emails.
I work out with my CrossFit group in the morning.
I have dinner and bedtime routines with my family.
Every single one of those interactions—planned or unplanned—comes at a cost.
By the end of the day, I face a choice: which interactions will I continue paying for?
For example, when my wife asks me, “How was your day?” I get to decide: do I focus on the positive interactions or the negative ones?
You might think it doesn’t matter if I occasionally focus on something negative. And maybe that’s true.
But what happens if I consistently choose to pay attention to the negative experiences in my life?
“You don’t experience life. You experience the life you focus on.”
Tony Robbins
The things I pay attention to—and continue paying attention to—become the life I’ve chosen to build.
Each time I focus on one thing, I ignore everything else I could have been focusing on. Those “unlived lives” are the opportunities I gave up.
Why does this matter?
“People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.”
Seneca
Every time you pay attention, you’re building your life.
This realization hit me hard. I’ve noticed that I often fall into the trap of paying more attention to the negative experiences and gaps in my life.
Has this focus helped me improve and stay driven? Yes.
But has it come at too high a cost? Also yes.
Acknowledging negative experiences is important, but fixating on them isn’t. Like Seneca suggests, we need to be far more stingy with how we spend our attention.
Instead of “paying” for things we don’t want, we need to make investments in the life we’re trying to build.
Whoa. Ok, that was a long one this week. But geez, I’ve been wrestling with this thought for weeks now and I didn’t want to shortchange it.
I want to know anything and everything you think about this. Am I right, wrong, in need of correction? Give me your feedback and tell me about how you approach the idea of attention.
Keep Asking,
Kyle