Who are your models?

my quest to become Justin Timberlake....

Which one of these people is a model?

You’re right!

They’re ALL models. (shout out to grandma Aldous)

And while we’re at it, you and I are models too.

Why does this matter?

We need to understand that everyone around us is modeling something. And if we’re not intentional about choosing the models we want to emulate, we will end up following the models who by circumstance and chance end up occupying the most space in our life.

Let’s start here—what is a model?

“Models are people who show us what is worth wanting.”

Luke Burgis

Think about the traditional understanding of a model. They are usually a person who shows us a piece of clothing (worth wanting). And why do we want it? It’s typically because there is something about the model we want to emulate.

Many fashion companies hire celebrities to model their clothes because whether you admit it or not, there is something about that celebrity you want.

You want their fame.

You want their skill.

You want their fortune.

You want their ability to have certain experiences.

And when they wear that item of clothing they are telling us that you can have a portion of what they have just by wearing that same thing.

Ok, now we can get to our big question…

Who are your models?

For years, one of my models was Justin Timberlake.

Exhibit A (anyone remember this dance?!)

Did I wear a bedazzled bandana while performing “It’s Gonna Be Me” with my friends during a high school talent show?

You better believe it—and I bedazzled the crap out of it. (we won that talent show, B.T.W.)

I watched every live performance I could find. I saw NSync in concert. I remember paying attention to his mannerisms in interviews. I knew every outfit he wore to every awards show.

Weird? Maybe. But I didn’t care. I totally owned this weird obsession with becoming this celebrity who I’d never met.

Ok, but is there anything wrong with choosing a celebrity as your model?

Well…that depends.

It depends on whether that celebrity truly represents who you are trying to become. Remember last week, when we talked about the importance of “becoming?” If you choose a model who doesn’t align with the aspirational version of yourself, you will end up chasing something that might actually be moving you away from becoming the person you truly want to become.

Here’s the other tricky part about models.

We want the finished product.

We don’t want the “in progress” version.

We want the highlight reel version.

We don’t want the time spent in the fire.

You can’t want one piece of someone else’s life without acknowledging that in order to have that one piece, you must also accept all of the “behind-the-scenes” costs that accompany what you see on the surface.

And so, as you choose your models, ask yourself a few additional questions:

• Why do you want what they have?

• How does this model embody the values you say you have?

• How does this model align with or deviate from your own aspirational version of yourself?

• Are you willing to do what they did to acquire what they’ve acquired?

• Are you willing to accept the unseen baggage they quietly carry?

So, who are my models now?

My parents. My grandparents. Several close friends. Jesus Christ.

But look, when I hear “It’s Gonna Be Me” come on, I can’t help but want to go bedazzle a bandana and jump on stage one more time 😂

Who are your models?

Why did you choose them?

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Guys, there’s only a few weeks left in 2024—how will you finish?

In the next few weeks, we’ll talk annual reviews, how to get the most out of 2025, and I’ll share the best of Keep Asking 2024.

Have a great week!

Keep Asking,

Kyle