My 6 Summer Questions...

one of these kept me from overspending at Target and Trader Joes 😂

We landed in Changi Airport yesterday morning after wrapping up our best summer yet.

Side note: I started viewing summers differently after a colleague told me he measures time by how many summers he has left with his kids at home.

By that metric, we’ve got six.

Six more summers with everyone still under one roof.

I approach each summer the same way the Japanese approach the tea ceremony:

“Even though the host and guests may see each other often socially, one day's gathering can never be repeated exactly… the meeting is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.”

We may revisit familiar places or faces—but no two summers are the same.

Here’s a quick highlight reel from the last five weeks:

• Spent 50+ hours in airports and airplanes together

• Held our third annual cousin camp (year one and two here if you're curious)

• Hiked the Narrows

• Ate a ridiculous amount of tacos

• Made homemade blackberry gelato

• Visited grandparents and great-grandparents

• Explored several temples (Houston, St. George, Provo)

• Soaked up time at Zion Ponderosa Ranch

And. So. Much. More.

Some people return from family vacations needing a break from their family.

I’m not that person.

Last night, I held our youngest in my arms as he fell asleep — and honestly, I didn’t want that moment or this summer to end.

So as I close out another summer, I want to share six questions that came up over the last five weeks.

What’s the best use of your energy right now?

I love using this one with our kids when they start to spiral over something that went wrong. You can spend the energy being angry, yelling, or fighting the hand you’ve been dealt… or you can try putting that same energy toward something to move things forward.

But it’s not just my kids who need this question.

Travel days trigger my anxiety. We're a big group. We have a lot of luggage. And I really like getting to the airport early.

On one leg of our trip, we made a last-minute stop in Salt Lake City—an immediate panic-inducer for me. On I-15 heading north, I asked myself this question.

We could have an enjoyable time at our stop or I could spend that time and energy worrying.

Asking this question didn’t change the clock, the amount of luggage, or the knot in my stomach. The only thing that changed was how I showed up.

Still working on this one. But this question helped me get my footing back.

Who needs you to overestimate them?

I got to reconnect with a couple who played a significant role in my life during college. I was really struggling for a few years with my faith and with who I was becoming. In some ways, I gave up on myself during that time.

But they never did. They saw things I couldn’t see. They believed in me.

I owe them so much.

“Now, when a man has been underestimated by a friend, he has some cause for taking offense since it is our friends who should overestimate our capacities. They should have an exaggerated opinion of our moral fortitude, our aesthetic sensibilities, and our intellectual scope.” (Amor Towles, A Gentleman in Moscow)

I love this idea of overestimating or having someone who has an “exaggerated opinion of our capacities.”

We all need someone like this in our lives.

AND, we should be looking for who we can provide this type of belief in.

Is this a want or a need?

Nothing filters desire like the reality of packing your life into several suitcases (and maybe two bins).

Every Target and Trader Joe’s run became a mini lesson in self-control.

Wants aren’t bad. But this question helps make sure the needs don’t get crowded out by the fun-sized candy. (I got the candy though so my office will be restocked tomorrow!)

How are you setting them up for success?

We covered this one last week, so in case you missed it, go check it out!

What do you want?

How often are you asked this question sincerely?

How often do you ask others with sincerity?

We can’t always give people what they want — or get what we want — but the question itself is a window.

A friend asked me this while I was talking through what’s next professionally.

Simple. Sharp. Disarming.

We should ask this question of others (and ourself) more often. Give yourself permission to dream big.

How can you make this fun?

We landed at 6:00 a.m.

Anyone who’s done the jet lag game with kids knows: 3–7 p.m. is survival mode. If they sleep, you’re cooked.

If you know something is going to be tough, this is the perfect question to ask. Something can be hard AND fun, if we’re intentional about it.

My wife suggested we walk around a mall and grab dumplings during this normaly tricky window of time.

It worked!

At least until the dumplings ran out 😂

Tomorrow, I start my final year at Singapore American School.

I’m feeling all the emotions.

My goal is to treat this year like we treat summer:

Familiar faces doing familiar work, but knowing we’ll never get this exact year back.

Let’s make it one to remember.

**For those of you who have changed jobs or careers before, what advice do you have as I head into this year? I’d love to know what I should do, things I should avoid, and anything worth thinking about along the way!

Keep Asking,

Kyle